He Brought me out into a spacious place, He rescued me because He delighted in me. Ps. 18:19
A lot can be learned from the pain we feel. Chris Coursey says, “When pain goes unprocessed, we start to hide, mask and run from pain. Unless the relational parts of our brain’s emotional control center actively shifts this response, we rigidly avoid pain even when the threat of pain is long gone. Much like an uninvited house guest, pain that is not fully processed stays with us the rest of our lives.”
I often wondered why the six years spent at a boarding school in the mountains of New Hampshire had such a detrimental impact on me. These years left me full of fear, anxiety and shame. I often prayed and asked God to take this pain away. I talked about the abuse and injustices done to me and others to many mental health counselors, but this brought little relief.
At Thrive Training we practiced brain skill #6 – Identify Heart Values From my Suffering. The Main Pain and Characteristic of Hearts: Caring deeply can mean hurting deeply, but our deepest hurts hide our greatest treasures.
Have you ever avoided certain environment or surroundings because you were unable to experience peace? For many years I have found myself at peace on the beach and full of anxiety in the mountains.
Since both our boys love the mountains I long to share this passion with them but the fear I felt could not be denied.
On day one I journaled, “Remind me never to attend a ladies retreat in the mountains in February.
Day two we gathered to pray for each other. We prayed specifically for healing from trauma. As Anne prayed for me, I began to feel peace. She closed her prayer with, “Father would you bring back to Joanna’s mind all the good memories from her years at High View. In Jesus name. Amen.”
Day three we traveled to prayer mountain. All bundled in hats and scarves we were taught by Mary. She spoke on the Blood Covenant and the power that the blood of Jesus has in our lives.
We all received communion sacraments to take and be alone with God. I walked just feet from where we met as I had no desire to venture into the woods. There was a platform facing the peaks.
I prayed Papa God please fill me with your love. His love helped me to see areas of bondage in my life. I repented. I thanked Jesus for His gift to me. As I took communion, I heard beautiful music. It encompassed me. I could sense the love of God in heavenly form.
I recalled the nights at High View in the dark all cuddled in our sleeping bags. Kate and I lay silently as talking was forbidden once lights were off. We’d whisper to each other, “Can you hear the angels singing?” There were many occasions we’d ask each other, “Can you hear them?”
As the angels sang on Prayer Mountain, I recalled the dark nights at High View when the angels would comfort us.
One of the characteristics of my heart is compassion for the hurting. I hurt deeply when others are hurt. Embracing our pain and sensing Jesus’ presence in the midst of it brings hope and peace. We are filled with joy as we face our deepest hurts and allow God to expose our greatest treasure.
What gifts has God given you? What are you passionate about? How are these passions linked to your pain?