John 10:10, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.
These words were spoken by Jesus while He walked this earth. The amplified version describes this life as an abundant life, to the full, till it overflows.
Lanny and I have experienced 34 years of marriage. Many of these years were spent overseas as we served with Youth With A Mission and Ethnos 360. Our desire in 1985 when we moved to Belize was to give back to God the life He had given to us. Our focus was on God and our hearts longed to be used by Him to impact the world for eternity.
We both have endured many obstacles in our journey together. In my last post Opening Every Door of My Heart I shared just one of the many event that have impacted our lives together.
Since hearing about Thrive Training in 2018 it has been a dream of mine to attend with Lanny. My dream comes true this week as we participate at Thrive in Holland, Michigan.
Thrive training began in 2001 when Dr. Jim Wilder and Chris Coursey put brain theory into practice. It consists of practical exercises equipping people with relational brain skills that can be learned and passed on.
Thrive defines Relational Skills as a “set of abilities that help us coordinate our lives, gain understanding, recognize values, adjust our attitudes, and motivate our actions rightly as it relates to what is going on in the hearts and minds of those around us. More than simply rules of engagement or maps to the world of people, relational skills let us know at a glance far more than we can usually put into words, more about what is going on inside someone else. Relational skills help us know when to keep quiet and when to speak up. These skills provide empathy that prevents us from acting like sociopaths. Relational skills make us feel loved, special, understood, adequately corrected, and recover when something goes wrong.”
With Chris Coursey’s permission I’d like to share the 19 Relationship skills we will practice at Thrive training this week. I look forward to sharing more in future posts.
- Share Joy – facial expressions and voice tones amplify: “We’re glad to be together!”
- Sooth Myself – (Simple Quiet) Quieting (shalom) after both joyful and upsetting emotions is the biggest predictor of life-long mental health.
- Form Bonds for Two. – We can share a mutual state of mind that brings us closer and lets us move independently as well. We are both satisfied.
- Create Appreciation – Healthy minds are full of appreciation. Appreciation creates belonging & changes stress to contentment.
- Form Family Bonds (Bonds for Three) – Family bonds let us share the joy built by the people we love.
- Identify Heart Values from suffering (The Main Pain and Characteristic of Hearts) – Caring deeply can mean hurting deeply. Our deepest hurts hide our deepest treasures.
- Tell Synchronized Stories (4+ Storytelling) – When our minds work together our stories come together.
- Identify Maturity Levels (Synchronize Attachments) – We need to know where we are, what we missed, and where we are going. Without a map, we will keep falling into the same holes.
- Take a Breather (Timing When to Disengage) – Skillfully take short pauses before people become overwhelmed. We read the non-verbal cues so we can build trust.
- Tell Nonverbal Stories – The nonverbal parts of our stories strengthen relationships, bridge generations and cross cultures.
- Return to Joy (From the Six Big Feelings) – We return to shared joy as we quiet distress. We stay in relationship when things go wrong.
- Act Like Myself (In the Big Six Feelings) – When we find our design, we will be life-giving, whether we are upset or joyful.
- See What God Sees (Heartsight) – Seeing people and events from God’s perspective yields a life filled with hope and direction.
- Stop the Sark – False “Godsight” may seem true to us at the moment, but leads to: blame, accusation, gossip, resentment, legalism, self-justification and self-righteousness.
- Quiet Interactively – Skill reading of facial cues allows us to operate at high-energy levels and manage our drives without hurting ourselves and others.
- Recognize High and Low Energy Response (sympathetic and parasympathetic) – Some people are at their best with activity, and others with solitude. Knowing our style and needs brings out the best in all our intentions.
- Identify Attachment Styles – Our lives and reality need to be organized around secure love. Fear hurts and emotional distance creates insecure relational styles that will last for life unless we replace them.
- Intervene Where the Brain is Stuck (Five Distinct Levels of Brain Disharmony and Pain) – Each of the five levels of brain processing react with a different kind of distress when it gets stuck. When we know the signs, we will know the solution.
- Recover from Complex Emotions (Handle Combinations of the Big Six Emotions) – Complex injuries from life leave us hurting many ways at once. We recover when we combine our brain skills and recover in harmony.
I’m curious to know if anyone has heard about Thrive Training. Which of these relational skills are significant to you and in what way?